Adulting

4:43 am Sunday

August 4, 2019

HEY BLOGARY

Has it been a while? I can't remember the last time I wrote to you, so I'm going to side with y e s. Well. Guess what.

I JUST SPENT MY FIRST NIGHT IN MY APARTMENT.

That's right. ALONE. And...

i love it.

I felt sad and lonely last night but this morning it's as if my sleep washed all of that away, and now I fell only bathed in gratitude and joy and freedom. Independence and individuality is a great thing; but only when you have the option to escape it (as Chaim Potok's writing has taught me, and continues to remind me).

That is why I think I enjoy it so much. This whole alone thing. Because I know I'm not. I have people (my parents, J), who've made that known to me. They're people I know I can fall back on, confide in, and experience all of this with. People who make loneliness more positive than painful, because they falsify it, for I know I am with them, even when we're not physically together.

I think that is how it is with most relationships, whatever their type. You are together even when you are away, through your thoughts about eachother, your hobbies and interests shared, and through all the things (expected or unexpected) that reminds you of them. They are with you even when you are not.

And that is why, although I am physically by myself--single, solitary, one--I know I am not alone, but rather, together, for I am bound to those close to me by forms transcendent of the physical.