March 21, 2026

Dear Shwirly,

It has been a very long time since I've written to you. Nearly two years ? I am 25 ! Unbelievable, I know. In many ways, i feel I grew up on this diary--further, the pages of this blog became a tool for me to cognize, archive, reflect and process my early confrontations with love, desire, low self worth, and all that crosse the axis of a young girls budding adult life. I feel myself more sure, care-free and hopeful knowing this blog exists, because I have a record of my earlier years--to find joy in, to find pain in, to find and not forget myself in.

Anyways, yes, it is March 21, 2026. I am assuming the last time I wrote you I graduated ucla. I will give you a rough timeline of the events that have ensued.

December 2024-March 2025: I worked at the corporate litigation firm for The Wonderful Company (Figi water, pom wonderful, halo tangerines)

-liked the people, hated the ethics

-read one if not multiple wrongful death cases each day

-farmwork as modern day slavery only perpetuated by this company, it hurt me and it hurt to work for billionaires whos primary interest is in themselves

-lived with my family near Topanga Canyon during this time

March 2025-June 2025

-worked as a grant writer (remote) for a non profit that helps women transitioning out of incarceration and addiction

-very passionate about the work, but did not pay enough for me to survive on my own

-moved out! moved to glendale :) living in a studio apartment

July 2025-now...--March 21 2025--

-started working at the wonderful company again :( needed to make more money ultimately and they called me so i felt the timing was what I would listen to. Felt as though i kept trying to leave this job and they kept reaching out again and again so I acquiesced i suppose. Still morally struggling. I really got close to my coworkers this time around. felt really good. Miss them still. Anyways, worked here until December 2025 this time around. so...worked here 9 months total. Great and hard experience overall. left to do more and to move forward with my life.

-september 2025. i met M. I met M on a dating app. I canceled our first date and didn't take his talking to me over the app prior seriously. Though somehow over the course of a few months we would always talk . Eventually went on date and met him in the middle of september and in person I didn't expect it to mean anything to me or thought I wouldn't like or get along with or take seriously quite honestly has become one of the most important people in my life. I'm in love again. Remember when i wrote you abpout falling in love for the first time? 19? I was 24 when we met, and I fell in love with him. My second love, my second relationship. Its very different being in love with a man and Im constantly learning and finding myself surprised and joyful and afraid. J was the closest I'd felt I had ever been to another person. With M I feel this too. But in a new way. loving him feels like an opening and its all rebirth and yellow and alive and I am astounded my our capacities to love. I feel Julia was my pathway to him and therefore am surprised how love is this constant doorway where in breaking never truly destroys. there we are I suppose. 8 months in April. Joyful and in love.

december 2025 to March 2026

-started new job at new law firm and hated my life. it was the most lifeless office job i could have. yes i found the content interesting but in all honesty it really turned me off from law. trying to remember this is not representative of all firms. still work here technically but going to request time off to get cna lisence, write grad school apps, study for the lsat, and focus on my art. until then...

March 2026

-new chapter beginning. Spring. Oh! Also forgot to say. Figure skating and dancing a lot these days. In love with life. thinking about MFA, nursing, PhD in English. okay until then...<3