You! Are! Lovable!

Accompanied by a morning cup of coffee and a sleepy-eyed inner warmth, I feel comfortable in my own presence, at home within my own body. As I reflect, I notice I haven’t felt this way for years; not because I barred myself from indulging in the enjoyment of my own presence, but because I wasn’t aware my presence was something worth being in the company of. When I think about worth, and finding meaning on one’s own, I feel wary of engaging in such conversation void in any mention of love, and the impact another person’s acceptance of you can have. I’m not talking about the sort of receiving you pine for as a young child, as you stand in the school lunch line, wishing for the girl with the glittering eyes to choose you as her lunchtime BFF. I’m speaking about the kind of emotional reception that remains unmoved by social status’ shifting hand. A form that is not ignorant to public norms, but instead/rather chooses to exist unwaveringly separate from them. I’m speaking of a type of love that sees only the blues of the water as it rises on the slumping rocks, a form that watches somberly as the wind carves the sea into a jumping howl of waves rather than seeking to quantify its stature. What I know to be true that I didn’t know a year ago is that life can get better. You can heal from a seemingly unhealable reality. You are beautiful, fully and completely, as you are. You are worthy of closeness, of love, of acceptance. What I know now that I didn’t know a year ago is that in creativity will always lie eternal magic. That in good people exists hope. That in love, exists salvation. What I know to be true that I didn’t know a year ago is that life can feel beautiful, wholly and entirely. That your worth is not dependent on your intelligence, that academia can lead you places, but on its own will lead you nowhere. What I know now that I didn’t know a year ago is that in always choosing love, life, and imagination, you will always feel at home in your own body, and in your life, you will always be at peace.