Rediscovering Our Relationship in a Post-Pandemic World

Dear diary,

Today its August 29, 2021 and I feel at odds with myself and the world. With the world opening up again, and the pandemic coming to a close, I find me and ____ having the opportunity to participate in the world & its endless cycling of events, restaurants, shows and financial indulgence. To be frank, I fear these indulgences, repute their invitations, and flee wittingly from the mere glimmer of their sight. Though I understand that the pandemic, despite its insidious harms and homosapian-imposed bruises, felt like a much-needed break from a seemingly overstimulated world. Maybe I have some mental health disorder, but above all, I feel overwhelmed from mere human participation. Though, I need to learn to override this uncomfortable sensation, for I understand that it will only hurt not only us, but her. I am her life partner, and in order to ensure she experiences the fullness of life, I need to participate in this experiential fullness with her. For me, that means an abandonment of what I know and an emotional thrusting into that which is left to explore. I feel afraid, but now, mentally ready. Here’s to warehouse shows, to barney’s beanery dinners, and to an exploration that transcends physical and emotional touch. Here’s to moving on from each other, into the world hand and hand with each other.