January 1, 2021!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear blogary,

It is the first day of 2021 and I am feeling happy. Thinking I might start keeping breakfast inside my apartment and dinner ingredients if need be. I would like to start eating healthier for personal reasons and such. Also, I just had a really great day yesterday. SMC starts the fourth, I applied to ASU so I'll let you know about that when I find out, um, I'm currently drinking coffee and feeling happy. The three most important components to my recovery and the maintenance of my sanity, well, there definitely are more than three, but I'll list them all here. Maybe it will help to come back to if I'm ever feeling low.

-talk therapy (15 min in morning, in car, at night in car)

-wash face right when you wake up, before exercise, after exercise, after walk, again at night (5 times total)

-daily routine:

7 am: wake up, make bed, wash face, put in contacts

7-9:30: water, coffee, metamucil, breakfast, work/study

9:30-9:45: get ready for exercise, chit chat

9:45-10:15: exercise

10:15-10:30: shower, brush teeth, wash face, change, get ready for the day

10:30-12:30: daily walk

12:30: get home, wash face, relax on bed

12:30-1:30: watch youtube/netflix

1:30-4:30: work/study

4:30-7: do something fun out in the world (possibly drink water and/or coffee during this period)

7 pm: get/make dinner

7:30-10:30: drive Sepulveda 3 times

10:30-11: wash face, brush teeth, change, make apt cozy, put phone in kitchen away from bed, get in bed, read

11: sleep

-drive @ night starting at 7

-walk TWO hours each day

-stick to routine

-take care of yourself

-use phone extremely minimally: don't use iPhone camera to judge yourself, use your own goddamn mirror. Live in THIS world. NEVER use iPhone in bed. Always have instagram deleted. Don't use instagram.

-talk yourself through any bad feelings you are experiencing

bad feelings include:

-impulsiveness

-the desire to overeat, the desire to binge, the desire to purge

-the desire to self destruct

-the desire to not care for yourself: aka: not sticking to routine, not brushing teeth, not showering, not exercising, not washing face, not seeing friends on scheduled, managebale basis, not working - on scheduled, mangeable basis, using phone too much, not keeping a clean space, not attempting to have a bowel movement, not doing talk therapy, not valuing your mental health

-the desire to cut yourself

-keeping a clean space that is easy to maintain